High School is Stressful

Hey guys, it's Aqsa.
I honestly had no idea what to write for my first post; anything I think of just isn't blog post worthy. After literal hours of trying to figure out what to write, I thought whatever. So here is my rambling thoughts shortened and barely edited for you..

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Yesterday, I took the SAT, because since I live in New York and we were hit by that blizzard, our test was pushed to February 20th. Basically, I only started studying about a month ago, unlike my friend who took an sat course and studied endlessly. Needless to say, she was a lot more invested in the SAT than I was. Don't get me wrong, my SAT score is really important to me. I'm not a stellar student if you compare me to the people in my school, and getting a high SAT score is imperative to getting into a good college. I also need a high SAT score because of a deal I made with my parents. A high SAT score means I get my very own kitten! iA I get a good score, because I have wanted a kitten since I was little. I love cats.

If you really think about it, the SAT is a really dumb test. It doesn't measure any real intelligence, nor does it measure what kind of a person you are. Another thing is, they are changing the SAT, and the new test isn't really that similar to the test I just took. If I don't do well on the SAT, I will most likely take the ACT. But then again, I just said the SAT is incredibly stupid. Which it is. But the fact that I think it is stupid is not going to help me get into a good school. Colleges need a way to see who is fit for their school in a quick way. They aren't going to spend hours sitting and analyzing your application. You aren't special enough.




I won't blame Columbia if they don't accept me based on my SAT score or my GPA. I understand. I go to an early college school, which means the students in my school are very, very smart. What is the chance that Columbia will take me compared to them?

That does not mean that I am not trying, of course. I am trying hard to make good grades, but I'm not a good test taker, and unfortunately for me, that is what my math class is based on. I mention math in particular because it's my worst subject. Couple that situation with some C's I got in freshman and sophomore year and you get what I would be if you extracted all of my personality, ambitions, and basically everything. So I'm a B student on paper. I'm average compared to my friends.
       
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That's another thing. Wow. My friends are all getting straight A's. Why am I not smart enough to reach that point? What is it about me that hinders me from achieving that gold star? Again, I go to the equivalent of a specialized high school if you add liberal arts and take away some of that nasty competition. My school is great in that the students help each other. But the students are all so incredibly smart, so amazing. I really feel for the freshman who, like me, are saying that they're struggling. Who are saying outright that they don't feel smart because they aren't making the same grades as their friends.


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I guess I'm jealous. How can so many people from my school be out partying so much, do drugs that much, drink that much, and still be making amazing grades? I do clubs and other extracurriculars, I stay after class to talk to the teachers, I do the homework, I participate. How do people who aren't doing any of that making such good grades?

But a lot of people don't do drugs. The don't party that much. They don't drink that much. And they make good grades too. Maybe there's some secret that I'm missing. I'm definitely studying as much as them, and I've tried different techniques to find the best way to study for me. Why am I not a gold star student?

So yes. I'm jealous. What're you going to do about it?

I have a semester or two left. I can still show myself that I am capable of this. I am capable of getting all A's. Don't believe me? Well, I never said I was doing this for you.

Well, that's all I have to say for now! Let me know what you guys think in the comments and follow me on Instagram and twitter. If you want to. (@heyitsaqsa)

Bye guys.